fergie, national anthem, disaster, gay,

Fergie’s National Anthem is the version our country deserves

God bless Fergie.

Maybe this National Anthem was just too ahead of it’s time. Maybe she took too many risks (as she told TMZ). Maybe America just isn’t READY for Fergie at her most brilliant. She’s loony! She’s funny! She’s goofy! She’s Fergie FERG. She’s the drive thru raw as hell songstress we all grew up with! And now? Well, now she’s entering gay legend territory.

Last night – if you haven’t already heard the news – Fergie performed “The U.S. National Anthem” for the NBA. (I’m a gay- I can’t tell you what game it was, just that Steph Curry was there and he was lookin’ FIOONNEE) The aftermath started nearly as soon as she shrilly yelled, “LET’S PLAY SOME BASKETBALL!!!” And then threw her head back and laughed. “I killed THAT,” Fergie thought to herself.  Or at least that’s what I thought Fergie thought to herself. What really happened is that a lot of people were laughing.  Lebron James, Stephen Curry, Jimmy Kimmel…. none of them could control their laughter. And then a bunch of gays were left to have a kii on the internet about how deliciously awful or amazing (depending on your outlook on life) that “National Anthem” was.

My theory is this – Fergie was doing God’s work.  Maybe this isn’t the “Anthem” that will have Whitney choking and snatched in her grave. But maybe this is exactly “The National Anthem” America deserves today. Maybe this anthem was intended for President Trump.  It’s an allegory really, this National Anthem. It’s artistic. We’re a trainwreck, we’re careening off into nowhere, but by god we’re going to have fun!

Fergie’s National Anthem is about hope in a time of fear. So, thanks Fergie. You gave me some laughs. I felt creatively inspired and I still want to like Double Dutchess more than I do!

The soon-to-be iconic video can be watched below:


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